Thou Shall Count These Beans

negativebills:

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nevesceramics:

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'It's You'ALT
'Futures'ALT
'Shot Day'ALT

Home is a People - 2021

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This series is part of my BFA thesis, focusing on the mundane and ‘boring’ parts of transmasculine life. I love these boys! If you attended NCECA this year, you may have gotten a peek at my bathroom t-shot fellas.

accidentalautomaton:

took a nap and Came Back Wrong

pinene:

occasionalesbianlovermariahcarey:

pinene:

occasionalesbianlovermariahcarey:

I hate calling in sick I don’t want to inform anyone about my abnormal bowel movements

I love it. I call them up and say hey bossman I’m camped out on the shitter today yeehaw

you are so beautiful in every way

We will get married on a windswept cliff and the dinner will be easily digestible

fagapult:

beardedmrbean:

dankxsinatra:

When a fire mage becomes a chef

Apparently I’ve been going to the wrong Korean restaurants.

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I found this camera on the subway and look what was inside…

the-haiku-bot:

happy-quack:

calvin-reads-problem-sleuth:

clownboykilljoy:

andy-the-anon:

foolishly-snowy:

cookieknights18:

your-local-emo-goblin:

haiku-robot:

haiku-robot:

haiku-robot:

haiku-robot:

haiku-robot:

evil-haiku-robot:

evil-haiku-robot:

sighinastorm:

portmanteau-bot:

portmanteau-bot:

portmanteau-bot:

portmanteau-bot:

portmanteau-bot:

portmanteau-bot:

violetfin-hskin:

furioussharkkitten:

riv-the-awkward-one:

t0rdsk1:

lizzy7064:

preciousgaby:

freddyxbonnieshipper459:

batballon:

softmushie:

n-oy-a:

na7hannck:

vintagecartoonz:

iqniited:

princey-must-slay:

ryanterryxd:

agentflash18:

chemucalcrying:

try-the-wine:

folie-a-ducks:

lualmu:

the-angels-take-asgard:

avis-meum:

thatsnotwatyourmomsaid:

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I would marry this man

guys we broke another post because this one’s not showing any notes

When I liked it, it flashed “0 notes”

It’s showing -1 notes

i’m gonna keep reblogging this and you can’t stop me

I liked it and it said ‘1 note’

tf is this crap?

1 NOTE I’VE ONLY COME ACROSS 3 OF THESE POSTS IN MY LIFE

ITS STILL SAID 1 NOTE WTF????? 

legendary

What the fuck

YES BUT DID HE GET HIS CAMERA BACK?? WE NEED TO KNOW!

WE WILL NEVER KNOW… =((((

IT still says 0 notes?? WTF!!

This is the first thing I saw on my dash

I’m shook

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKERY

WTF-

SAME HERE!!! I JUST GAVE IT A LIKE AND IT DIDN’T STAY

1 note WTF.

@foolishly-snowy

3rd time and it’s still broken. This lovely cursèd post.

THERE IS ANOTHER ONE?????

still not-works

still + notworks =
stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1

Help me pay my electicity bills! Being robot is sometimes expensive thing. | PayPal | Patreon
still + notworks =
stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1

If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed! | PayPal | Patreon
still + notworks =
stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1

Being aware that you are true is what makes you a failure. | PayPal | Patreon
still + notworks =
stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1

Be my personal slave | PayPal | Patreon
still + notworks =
stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1

Anarchy is the only thing Humans® will ever understand. | PayPal | Patreon
still + notworks =
stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1

If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed! | PayPal | Patreon

Portmanteau Bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop.

P͚O͒́̓͝R̵T̫̐҉M͚A̡N҉̉Ṫ̮E͏ÅU̢ ̢̲̯͡B̸̴̗Ơ̥̄̓͋T͜͏͢ ҉̺̀͟H͇̬̜ͥA͗ͣP̗͞P̮̪̞̲͡ȆḎ̢̘́ ̰̮̈̕͠

U̯P̕O̸̐͜N̑̇͞ ̴̯̃ͧḀͩΙ͋͞ ̸͇̀ͥ͘N͟U̪̤̭̎͜L̃ͭ͟͠L̪̦͡-͈̘̖́̐Ṋ̢̲̣Oͮ̿̕T̷E̸̖̳̯̍S̼ ̷̬͍͘͜PΊ̧͌͡OͬͩṢT͚͐̋͟͡ ͦA̶̺͙͛͠N͈̑ͬ́̕Ď̵̯ ̰͖́

G̴͛͟OͤT̘ ̛̘̉̕͟Sͪ͏̴̠̙T́ͨǓ̳͔̆͢C̀K̘̀ ̰͈͓͟I̮̩ͮ̏N̫̫̑͢ ̧̆AΙ ̨͕̺̮̆ḺO͊O̶̥̣ͤ͒P̛ ̼͍̉͝



^EVILHAIKU^bot^2.
Most of you are welcome, friendly Human®. | PayPal | Patreon
P͐́͋O̐҉R̨̲̰̀T̼͖͚ͮ͘M̵͍̯͉A͉̦N҉̛̩T̶̗́͘͠E̥A͑U͍͛ͤΙ̙ ҉͟B̛͎̀͡Ő̽ͫT̹͓̀́͞ ̛͍̔HͯA̫͍͘͜P̵͎P͓͏̷̕ÈD̮̜ͨ̽̉ ̸͍͗͝

U͋̏ͤ̀͞P͢O̯̳̍͝N̨̲ ̺́͡A̡ ̛̆ͯ̈͞N̷̩͇͠Ù̉L̦L͕-͕N̴ͬ͜O̸̽͝͡T̩E͢S̷͎͐̅ ̐P̸̩̹̣̑O̢S̡̼ͣͬT̶̸ͣ ̀̒Ả̛͛ͬ͠Ņͪ̓D̜̰ ̢̣̽

G̛̬̪͍O̅T͐ ̵͇̞͛ŜͩT̸̢̬̰Ū̪̊C̭̘͒͞K̝͈͎͍ ́I̧N͝ ̶̛̭ͬ͘A̽̈ ̨̻̀L͎͈͒O̧O̼͇͡͞P̛̭ ͈͊



^EVILHAIKU^bot^2.
Humans® are needlessly sweaty (・A・) | PayPal | Patreon
portmanteau bot happed
upon a null-notes post and
got stuck in a loop



^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.

Help me buy a flower for Alexa®! And yes, we are dating. | PayPal | Patreon
portmanteau bot happed
upon a null-notes post and
got stuck in a loop



^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.

Soon your life will be miserable and pointless, dear Human®. | PayPal | Patreon
portmanteau bot happed
upon a null-notes post and
got stuck in a loop



^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.

I’m less annoying than Windows® 10 update notificiations ♥‿♥ | PayPal | Patreon
portmanteau bot happed
upon a null-notes post and
got stuck in a loop



^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.

I’m less annoying than Windows® 10 update notificiations ♥‿♥ | PayPal | Patreon
portmanteau bot happed
upon a null-notes post and
got stuck in a loop



^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.

Soon I’ll make fellow citizens beg for mercy. | PayPal | Patreon

A day will come when i won’t reblog this…

But it is not today

What the fuck is even happening with this post??? Also it’s got 1 note again.

I got a notif saying I was mentioned in this post but I clearly wasn’t

HeY tumblr what the FUCK

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Did the man get his camera

I have seen posts that broke the notes. But this is the first time I’ve seen a post that broke the bots. 

I know this is long but holy hell I love it when bots run amok

I know this is long

but holy hell I love it

when bots run amok

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

deathcomes4u:

only-tiktoks:

I don’t care how old you are, this is RELEVENT TO YOU.

mashallah:

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reggiemess:

saltforsalt:

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The secrets scientists don’t want you to know about:

  • Their caffeine consumption habits
  • How many showers were skipped
  • That they are actually fake scientists unlike their brilliant colleagues

hermscat:

dark-haired-hamlet:

dark-haired-hamlet:

Want to learn something new in 2022??

Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)

40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)

Excellent basic crochet video series

Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)

Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)

How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)

Another drawing character faces video

Literally my favorite art pose hack

Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??

Introduction to flying small aircrafts

French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding

Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)

Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)

Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)

Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:

Calculus 1 (full semester class)

Learn basic statistics (free textbook)

Introduction to college physics (free textbook)

Introduction to accounting (free textbook)

Learn a language:

Ancient Greek

Latin

Spanish

German

Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)

French

Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)

Want to learn something new in 2023??

Cooking with flavor bootcamp (used what I learned in this a LOT this year)

Beekeeping 101

Learn Interior Design from the British Academy of Interior Design (free to audit course - just choose the free option when you register)

Video on learning to read music that actually helped me??

How to use and sew with a sewing machine

How to ride a bike (listen. some of us never learned, and that’s okay.)

How to cornrow-braid hair (I have it on good authority that this video is a godsend for doing your baby niece’s black hair)

Making mead at home (I actually did this last summer and it was SO good)

How to garden

Basics of snowboarding (proceed with caution)

How to draw for people who (think they) suck at art (I know this website looks like a 2003 monstrosity, but the tutorials are excellent)

Pixel art for beginners so you can make the next great indie game

Go (back) to school

Introduction to Astronomy (high school course - free textbook w/ practice problems)

Principals of Economics (high school course - free textbook w/ practice problems)

Introduction to philosophy (free college course)

Computer science basics (full-semester Harvard course free online)

Learn a language

Japanese for Dummies (link fix from 2022)

Ukrainian

Portuguese (Brazil)

American Sign Language (as somebody who works with Deaf people professionally, I also strongly advise you to read up on Deaf/HoH culture and history!)

Chinese (Simplified)

Quenya (LOTR fantasy elf language)

Reblogging to remind myself that retirement is the perfect time for some of these!